P a i n
by Purple Snuggie
Summary: Jill POV on the events after Spencer estate. Please review!


Another fic on Jill's POV a little bit before and after she fell out of the window with Wesker at the Spencer Estate.

Brother fic to S H A T T E R E D.

Dedicated to Natey.

Chris, Jill, Wesker and the rest of RE does not belong to me, belongs to Capcom. Kthnx.

Hope you like it.

Song : When I'm gone - Three doors down.

* * *

_**There's another world inside of me**_

_**That you may never see**_

_**There're secrets in this life**_

_**That I can't hide**_

_**Somewhere in this darkness**_

_**There's a light that I can't find**_

_**Maybe it's too far away...**_

_**Or maybe I'm just blind...**_

_**Or maybe I'm just blind...**_

I panted.

All that dodging was taking a toll on my stamina. But we had to keep pushing on.

I watched in horror as Chris was grabbed by Wesker.

Wesker lifted him clear off the ground with no problem, sickly grinning as Chris began to choke from being strangled.

I couldn't just stand there and do nothing..I had to act..and quickly.

With all of my might, I threw all of my weight into one tackle..I lunged myself off of the ground and towards Wesker, grabbing him. Chris rolled to the ground, safe.

We began to fall towards the glass window...I panicked slightly...I figured I wasn't going to make it.

When we collided with the window..the glass shattered, I felt the prickle of shards embedding into my clothes..into my flesh. Scrapes covered me..but it didn't stop there.

We continued to fall.

The wind on the way down popped my ears so Chris screaming my name sounded more like a whisper.

Again, at least he was safe..even if I didn't make it..he could go on knowing Wesker died with me.

When we hit the ground, I rolled into what appeared to be a giant boulder...my body ached and I so wanted to scream as at least 20 bones in my body broke.

I couldn't move.

I couldn't even open my eyes.

So this is what it was like to die.

Everything was black..but then I heard footsteps..

`` Chr....iss..? `` I managed to choke out through my bloody lips.

`` No, no. Dear, Jill. Not Chris. `` The voice was definitely male...so familiar.....Wesker...no...how could he have survived?

I felt my body being picked up bridal style...and I was being carried.

I used the last of my strength to try and wiggle free of his hold..but he was just too strong...especially in my weak, broken state...

The only thought on my mind was Chris.

_**So hold me when I'm here**_

_**Right me when I'm wrong**_

_**Hold me when I'm scared**_

_**And love me when I'm gone**_

_**Everything I am**_

_**And everything in me**_

_**Wants to be the one**_

_**You wanted me to be**_

_**I'll never let you down**_

_**Even if I could**_

_**I'd give up everything**_

_**If only for your good**_

_**So hold me when I'm here**_

_**Right me when I'm wrong**_

_**You can hold me when I'm scared**_

_**You won't always be there**_

_**So love me when I'm gone**_

I felt like my lungs had deflated..

I could barely breath nevermind talk.

And as soon as it started...I blacked out.

My mind was still racing though...Images of my partner was dancing through my head...I felt like I had gone to heaven.

Maybe I did die...maybe this was it...I was hoping so..I'd rather be in heaven then with Wesker.

But no...

I was being prodded.

Poked.

I was screaming..but no sound came out.

It hurt.

The pain was excrutiating...what was happening.

`` Is it ready? `` I heard Wesker ask.

And the next voice was new...a woman with a thick accent...

``Yes. It's ready. Is she ready? ``

`` Yes. The time has come, Jill. You will be working for me now. ``

NO. WESKER.. I couldn't move...not only was I not weak enough and could barely feel my body..but what I did feel was straps holding me down.

Tieing me to something hard and cold..probably a table.

What were they going to do to me?

Chris........please....

A sharp pain to the middle of my arm alerted me to what felt like a needle.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I screamed...I don't think it was verbal though.

Every nerve in my body was on end...everything ached...I could feel my broken bones..a couple of them shattered..slight trickle of blood..and then...it all stopped.

Everything.

My pain was gone. I opened my eyes.

But I wasn't moving myself...it was like I was trapped in a cage..watching myself move..

I sat up. Stood.

No pain..I couldn't control myself.

I felt like a puppet on a string.

I continued to watch myself under Wesker's command..praying that Chris would burst through the door and save me..but it never happened.

I was crying on the inside.

I longed to be with him..to be out of this place. I was doing horrible things to innocent people....

_**When your education X-Ray**_

_**Cannot see under my skin**_

_**I won't tell you a damn thing**_

_**That I could not tell my friends**_

_**Roaming through this darkness**_

_**I'm alive but I'm alone**_

_**Part of me is fighting this**_

_**But part of me is gone**_

and everything seemed to stop again. Time froze.

I wigged my fingers...-I- was in control.

The cage they kept me in was like a jail cell. He controlled me with a substance called P30.

Eventually the shots wore off faster. I tried to break free of my confinements but everytime failed.

He created this new device...it was a monster in itself.

P30 began to be pumped continuously through my body...I had no control anymore..but I watched.

Watched what the OTHER Jill was doing.

Hoping..praying that Chris was alright...that someday he would save me.

But still nothing.

All I thought about was him...about the sacrifice that I made so he could live...it seemed worth it.

I wondered if they were looking for me..or if they just pronounced me dead..

The other me worked with Excella and guided Irving.

I was disgusted with myself...loathed myself.

But I kept hanging on in the hopes that Chris would come..

_**So hold me when I'm here**_

_**Right me when I'm wrong**_

_**Hold me when I'm scared**_

_**And love me when I'm gone**_

_**Everything I am**_

_**And everything in me**_

_**Wants to be the one**_

_**You wanted me to be**_

_**I'll never let you down**_

_**Even if I could**_

_**I'd give up everything**_

_**If only for your good**_

_**So hold me when I'm here**_

_**Right me when I'm wrong**_

_**You can hold me when I'm scared**_

_**You won't always be there**_

_**So love me when I'm gone**_

Days past....no sign from the outside world. I continued to live on freely through my own mind..even though I had no control over my actions.

My clothes changed.

My hair was even blonde because of the toxins in the P30.

But I kept living on the faith...

Hoping he would arrive soon...

_**Or maybe I'm just blind...**_

More days passed. I became a machine.

A super fighting machine who did all the dirty work while the evil villain sat back and relaxed.

I couldn't bare with myself...but I continued to believe...believe in Chris...

_**So hold me when I'm here**_

_**Right me when I'm wrong**_

_**Hold me when I'm scared**_

_**And love me when I'm gone**_

_**Everything I am**_

_**And everything in me**_

_**Wants to be the one**_

_**You wanted me to be**_

_**I'll never let you down**_

_**Even if I could**_

_**I'd give up everything**_

_**If only for your good**_

_**So hold me when I'm here**_

_**Right me when I'm wrong**_

_**You can hold me when I'm scared**_

_**You won't always be there**_

_**So love me when I'm gone**_

Memories of the good times.

The laughter.

The playfullness...everything up into that horrible night in the Spencer estate when I thought I was gonna lose Chris forever...guess the tables turned..

I missed him.

Wanted to be in his warm embrace...but I was beginning to lose all hope...

_**Love me when I'm gone...**_

And then...he arrived. With a new partner...

so the BSAA did forget about me...he found out I was there but I always was under control of Wesker..

Everytime I would see him..I would be screaming his name in my head...begging for help...but he wouldn't hear me...he didnt know it was me..

_**Love me when I'm gone**_

_**When I'm Gone**_

_**When I'm Gone**_

_**When I'm Gone**_

Everything stopped when I had to attack him.

I was gonna have to kill him.

I began to hate myself more....but even after all of the fighting...he forgave me...he saved me...like I knew he would.

I told him to continue on without me.

That it was his duty now to save the world since I failed.

When I looked into his eyes..I saw the sadness...the longing..but I bit back tears..held back my feelings...and walked out.

He was going to defeat Wesker.

He was going to save the world...and after it was all over...

Then.

Then could we finally be reunited in peace.


End file.
